Giggle Alert

Previous Employment

I work in a personnel office with the government in Washington, DC, reviewing applications for federal employment.

The standard form includes the question, "Why did you leave your previous employment?"

One applicant, a former U.S. Congressman, responded, "The express wish of 116,000 voters."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

God Speaks!

God Speaks BillBoards

Some new billboards are getting attention in Cleveland. Some reported seeing one or two messages, but the newspaper listed all of them. Here's a list of all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards. The billboards are a simple black background with white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization is included. These are awesome...enjoy.

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God

C'mon over and bring the kids. -God

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. -God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. -God

I love you and you and you and you and... -God

Will the road you're on get you to my place? -God

Follow me. -God

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. -God

My way is the highway. -God

Need directions? -God

You think it's hot here? -God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God

Do you have any idea where you're going? -God

(And my personal favorite...)

Don't make me come down there. -God


Received from Paul Calvert.

The Gift of Journaling

As I write this, I am in Nashville for the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference. (http://www.aacc.net/) This year’s conference theme is No Greater Love. I have attended this conference once before and learned that this is a great opportunity for refreshment and renewal. I will meet new friends and colleagues. I will also reconnect with old friends and with God while participating in training seminars on topics of interest to me that will help me serve my clients better. I will gain required continuing education hours and a renewed focus on why I do what I do. I’m looking forward to the conference starting.

The Opryland Resort (www.gaylordhotels.com/gaylordopryland/index.cfm) is an amazing place-the setting is serene and so beautiful. There are nine acres of gardens INSIDE! There’s a river running through the property too. My room is comfortable and fully equipped with all that I need including high speed internet access. The spa and fitness center are great too. Everyone I’ve met has been helpful and friendly-southern hospitality is a reality and it is alive and well here in Nashville.

This year, I chose to come in to town a few days before the conference started. In my heart, I knew that a few days of quiet time and relaxation away from home would be good for me. And indeed, it has been, already. Isn’t it amazing that our hearts know what we need. If only we’d stop to listen more often.

My first evening here, I wandered around the resort just looking at everything and noticing the changes made since my last trip here in 2003. I had a great workout at the fitness center and enjoyed window shopping in some of the great shops here.

This morning, I spent some time reading God’s Word. This is something that is important to me because it helps to keep me focused and provides an opportunity for God to speak to me. In addition, I have kept a prayer journal off and on since 2003. This is not something I write in every day, nor is it something that includes all prayers I have prayed. I pray for others and I pray for my own needs. I also record things that I am grateful for.

Today, I took time to re-read my entire prayer journal. The entries are written in my messy handwriting and my heartfelt prayers for issues that were important to me over the past four years brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad. Much has changed in my life and in me over that timeframe. What really brought me to my knees was the long list of answered prayers. I was awestruck and humbled by this list of answered prayers. Not every prayer was answered, nor were all of the answers the answers I prayed for-the way I wanted things to work out-but the prayers were answered nonetheless. God is so kind and merciful and I am so impatient and-well-sometimes, just plain whiny. I imagine a loving parent becoming tired and frustrated with the whining and repeated questions of a pre-schooler. One of the scenes I imagine is that of a road trip, with a tired child in the back seat asking ‘are we there yet?’ over and over. How often I have prayed like that-asking the same thing over and over! Thank goodness God is the perfect parent and that He has ultimate patience and unending love for someone like me!

This experience has reinforced for me the gift of journaling. Keeping a journal is a gift I give myself. It allows me the opportunity to look back and see progress as well as areas where I’m stuck. Sometimes, I get to see how far I’ve come or grown. Other times, I see themes or patterns that I may want to address differently because they keep coming up and may be holding me back. It always brings back memories of people and places-situations in my life from years gone by. Seeing, in black and white, answered prayers is a reminder that God is intimately involved in our lives-He cares about the details. I find it very comforting and reassuring.

I want to give you permission to start journaling. Often, people are under the mistaken impression that there is a right way to journal or some unwritten rule that says you must write in it every day. Nonsense! There is no wrong way to journal. You can write or type. Get a note book or go shopping for a journal that is pretty or represents your personality. If you choose to purchase a journal-you can get one with lined pages or blank pages. You can write or doodle or draw. You can use poetry or songs to express yourself. You can write as if you are writing a letter to a friend. You can write in incomplete sentences with incorrect grammar and spelling. You can make a list.

I keep my prayer journal and I keep another journal in the nightstand next to my bed for those nights when insomnia hits. I’ve found that when I can’t sleep in the middle of the night, pulling out this journal and just writing whatever is on my mind helps me let go of it and fall asleep. I haven’t written in this journal in a very long time, because I rarely suffer from insomnia since changing the way I take care of my physical being-but it’s there just in case.

So again, I’m giving you permission to start journaling-do it in a way that works for you. And if your journaling reveals that you have some issues where you are stuck-by all means, seek a counselor or coach to help you get unstuck. Sometimes, all we need is an outside party to give us some feedback and then we can make the changes we need to make.

Happy journaling!

Lena Wright is the founder and President of Connections Wellness Center and a Certified Professional Coach and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. Her passion is helping women find peace and contentment so they may enjoy healthy relationships and be all that God has created them to be. She can be reached through her website at http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

© 2007 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

Giggle Alert!

Lexiograms

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

11. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
12. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
14. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
15. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

16. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
17. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
19. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
20. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Received from FranCMT2.

Motives

I have been thinking about the concept of motives lately. I sometimes enjoy watching crime dramas on television, particularly Law and Order and CSI. On these shows, the detectives are trying to solve a homicide and they always look for a motive or the reason why the criminal might have committed the crime. Three of the definitions of the word motive found at Dictionary.com include:

1) something that causes a person to act in a certain way, do a certain thing
2) incentive, causing, or tending to cause, motion
3) prompting to action

Basically, motive is the reason behind our behavior, the incentive that prompts us to act. On these television programs the motive for the crime is often greed, rage, jealousy or fear. Motives can be either negative or positive. Sometimes we are motivated by love, caring and compassion to do something thoughtful for another person.

In the movie, Talladega Nights, we are shown several examples of how wrong motives can cost us dearly. Ricky Bobby played by Will Ferrell is a NASCAR racing legend whose motto is “If you’re not first, you’re last” which drives him to compete fiercely and win at any cost at the expense of his relationships with those closest to him. Ricky Bobby’s’ fierce competitiveness and drive to win by taking thrilling risks made him a fan favorite. It is a funny movie with an interesting lesson underneath the humor.

God has something to say about motives. James 4:3 says “And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong-you want only what will give you pleasure.”

And Proverbs 20:27 says “The Lord's searchlight penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive.”

Have you ever stopped to think about what your motives are-your reasons for doing the things that you do? God is concerned about the condition of our hearts in all areas of our lives. He knows WHY we’re doing something, even when we sometimes fail to make the connection.

When we truly understand what God wants for us-our growth and the development of the traits of Christ in us-it becomes clear that God would be concerned with our motives-the WHY behind what we do. For example, do you attend church because you ‘should’ or ‘have too’? That is an example of a wrong motive. God could force us to worship Him; He is God, after all. And yet, that is not the sort of relationship he desires with us. He wants us to choose Him and to choose to pursue a relationship with Him.

Parents and teachers sometimes make a choice to control children out of fear by using intimidation, punishment and threats. Sure, children will comply out of fear when you’re around to enforce the consequences-but what about when you’re not there? Wouldn’t it be better to teach kids about motives-about right and wrong so that they can learn to make good choices and control their own behavior? This is called self-regulation and it is a skill that many people are lacking in today’s world. I believe this is the same thing that God wants from us. Not for us do things because we ‘should’ or we ‘ought to’ but because we want to. When we cultivate an attitude of gratitude (start by writing down 5 things you are grateful for each morning and evening and reading your list out loud) and when we recognize exactly what God has done for us then we want to give, we want to serve, we want to help, and we want to be kind.

I encourage you to examine your motives. Not to beat yourself up about all the ways you fall short, but as the basis for learning and growing. If you find that your life is overrun with ‘shoulds’ perhaps you will want to seek some assistance in looking at your motives and making some positive changes in your thinking and your life. Remember, every journey starts with a single step.



Lena Wright is the founder and President of Connections Wellness Center and a Certified Professional Coach and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. Her passion is helping women find peace and contentment so they may enjoy healthy relationships and be all that God has created them to be. She can be reached through her website at http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

© 2007 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

Spending time with God

My, this has been a BUSY week! I spent last week traveling-went to Nashville for a conference and this week, I have been super busy playing 'catch up' from the time away. Both at home and in the office....personally and professionally. There is just so much to do!

It's been an interesting week-lots to do, lots of emotional ups and downs. I think part of it is the 'let down' after a great conference. Those things are generally high energy and motivational and inspiring. This one was all those things and more-because it was a Christian counseling conference. So in addition to all the usual stuff-this conference was filled with praise and worship-the spirit of God was very present and very real. There's just something special about worshipping with 7000 people that's hard to put into words. I also treated this trip as a bit of a personal retreat-I took my journal and my Bible and really focused on spending time with God. I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking, writing, praying and reading. It's something that I don't get to do in as much depth as I would like in the 'busy-ness' of every day life. It's unfortunate, in some ways that I have to go to such extremes to get refreshed and renewed. And yet, at the same time, I am so grateful to have opportunities like that.

While I was away, I vowed to make my time with God a priority, even at home in the 'busy-ness'. And sadly, as I look back over this week-I see how much I let it slip by-and I see missed opportunities too. I did make time with God a priority-I did get to a women's Bible study at church that I almost blew off-because I was so busy and so tired. I'm so glad I went-it was refreshing and renewing-and fun. :-) It's funny-ironic, I guess. I get busy, so I make choices and let my time with God fall to the bottom of the to do list; and I feel more tired and irritable. When I make the choice and sometimes the sacrifice that is required-(say like going to a Bible study when I'm tired) even though it takes more time and the easier choice would be to skip it-when I go, and invest the time and energy-I get renewed and recharged. I feel better and am then able to help others more. It's seems like it wouldn't work that way, but I find more often than not, it does.

I'd love to hear from you-about the things that refresh/recharge/renew your energy. How do you nurture yourself? What do you struggle with in these areas?

A friend sent me this video-which really moved me and made me think. It beautifully illustrates part of what I'm talking about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA Maybe your story is not so dramatic or painful as the one depicted-or maybe it is more so. Either way, it doesn't matter. Jesus is there, pulling for you-no matter what. I am so awed and humbled my the reminder.

Until next time!

Lena

www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com