Image by Travis Seitler via Flickr

(Jesus speaking) The Scripture says "I want kindness more than I want animal sacrifices." You don't really understand what those words mean. If you understood them, you would not judge those who have done nothing wrong. Matthew 12:7

(Jesus speaking) "Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, 'Friend, let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye' when you cannot see that big piece of wood in your own eye! You hypocrite! Frist, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye." Luke 6:41-42

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These verses bring up an interesting concept-Personal Responsibility. This is something that we, as a society, seem to be displaying less and less of as time goes on. We're often looking for someone or something to blame for our circumstances-whether it be relationship difficulties, job stress, financial problems or bigger challenges. We could blame our parents, our spouse, our kids, the pastor, our boss, our coworkers, our siblings, our neighbors.....anyone, really. We can also blame our circumstances "I was born poor" or "my family was so dsyfunctional" or "my spouse is such a jerk" or "the company I work for is so bad" etc etc.

The problem with blaming others is that blame keeps us stuck. If I blame my problems on someone else then I will feel powerless to change things and I will feel trapped. Feeling trapped will then lead to feelings of depression and/or anxiety. It's a vicious cycle...something happens, I look for someone to blame, I feel justified in my anger toward the person or situation I blame, and over time, resentment sets in and I begin to feel trapped and like a helpless victim. That cycle repeats until anxiety, depression and eventually despair take over. Does this sound like victorious Christian living to you?!? Surely, this is not how God intended for us to live.

The truth is that we all make choices in life. Sure, sometimes things happen that truly are not our fault-someone else makes a bad decision and we have to deal with the consequences. However, from my years of experience, I have learned that many times, the feelings of being trapped/stuck are of our own making. We make a choice to give up our power to someone else and we stay stuck.

So if we all make choices and we all have personal responsibility for our own lives what are we to do? The bottom line is that if your life is not the way that you want it, you MUST stop blaming others and consider what you are doing to contribute to the problem, especially the feeling of being trapped and powerless. I understand that bad things happen to people. However, because we cannot travel back in time to undo the bad thing that have happened-all we can do is work with the here and now. The present. This is where personal responsibility for our own lives comes into play. We cannot change what has happened to us, but we can change/decide/choose what we will do today.

Maybe it is time to formulate a plan and TAKE ACTION. If you don't take action, how will things ever change?

Some ideas for taking action:

* Call a trusted friend
* Talk to your pastor
* Call a Christian Counselor
* Join a small group Bible study
* Go to a 12 step meeting
* Ask for prayer and be specific
* Talk to your spouse


Take responsibility for your life-this is not a dress rehearsal.

The Gift of Journaling

As I write this, I am in Nashville for the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference. (http://www.aacc.net/) This year’s conference theme is No Greater Love. I have attended this conference once before and learned that this is a great opportunity for refreshment and renewal. I will meet new friends and colleagues. I will also reconnect with old friends and with God while participating in training seminars on topics of interest to me that will help me serve my clients better. I will gain required continuing education hours and a renewed focus on why I do what I do. I’m looking forward to the conference starting.

The Opryland Resort (www.gaylordhotels.com/gaylordopryland/index.cfm) is an amazing place-the setting is serene and so beautiful. There are nine acres of gardens INSIDE! There’s a river running through the property too. My room is comfortable and fully equipped with all that I need including high speed internet access. The spa and fitness center are great too. Everyone I’ve met has been helpful and friendly-southern hospitality is a reality and it is alive and well here in Nashville.

This year, I chose to come in to town a few days before the conference started. In my heart, I knew that a few days of quiet time and relaxation away from home would be good for me. And indeed, it has been, already. Isn’t it amazing that our hearts know what we need. If only we’d stop to listen more often.

My first evening here, I wandered around the resort just looking at everything and noticing the changes made since my last trip here in 2003. I had a great workout at the fitness center and enjoyed window shopping in some of the great shops here.

This morning, I spent some time reading God’s Word. This is something that is important to me because it helps to keep me focused and provides an opportunity for God to speak to me. In addition, I have kept a prayer journal off and on since 2003. This is not something I write in every day, nor is it something that includes all prayers I have prayed. I pray for others and I pray for my own needs. I also record things that I am grateful for.

Today, I took time to re-read my entire prayer journal. The entries are written in my messy handwriting and my heartfelt prayers for issues that were important to me over the past four years brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad. Much has changed in my life and in me over that timeframe. What really brought me to my knees was the long list of answered prayers. I was awestruck and humbled by this list of answered prayers. Not every prayer was answered, nor were all of the answers the answers I prayed for-the way I wanted things to work out-but the prayers were answered nonetheless. God is so kind and merciful and I am so impatient and-well-sometimes, just plain whiny. I imagine a loving parent becoming tired and frustrated with the whining and repeated questions of a pre-schooler. One of the scenes I imagine is that of a road trip, with a tired child in the back seat asking ‘are we there yet?’ over and over. How often I have prayed like that-asking the same thing over and over! Thank goodness God is the perfect parent and that He has ultimate patience and unending love for someone like me!

This experience has reinforced for me the gift of journaling. Keeping a journal is a gift I give myself. It allows me the opportunity to look back and see progress as well as areas where I’m stuck. Sometimes, I get to see how far I’ve come or grown. Other times, I see themes or patterns that I may want to address differently because they keep coming up and may be holding me back. It always brings back memories of people and places-situations in my life from years gone by. Seeing, in black and white, answered prayers is a reminder that God is intimately involved in our lives-He cares about the details. I find it very comforting and reassuring.

I want to give you permission to start journaling. Often, people are under the mistaken impression that there is a right way to journal or some unwritten rule that says you must write in it every day. Nonsense! There is no wrong way to journal. You can write or type. Get a note book or go shopping for a journal that is pretty or represents your personality. If you choose to purchase a journal-you can get one with lined pages or blank pages. You can write or doodle or draw. You can use poetry or songs to express yourself. You can write as if you are writing a letter to a friend. You can write in incomplete sentences with incorrect grammar and spelling. You can make a list.

I keep my prayer journal and I keep another journal in the nightstand next to my bed for those nights when insomnia hits. I’ve found that when I can’t sleep in the middle of the night, pulling out this journal and just writing whatever is on my mind helps me let go of it and fall asleep. I haven’t written in this journal in a very long time, because I rarely suffer from insomnia since changing the way I take care of my physical being-but it’s there just in case.

So again, I’m giving you permission to start journaling-do it in a way that works for you. And if your journaling reveals that you have some issues where you are stuck-by all means, seek a counselor or coach to help you get unstuck. Sometimes, all we need is an outside party to give us some feedback and then we can make the changes we need to make.

Happy journaling!

Lena Wright is the founder and President of Connections Wellness Center and a Certified Professional Coach and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. Her passion is helping women find peace and contentment so they may enjoy healthy relationships and be all that God has created them to be. She can be reached through her website at http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

© 2007 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/.

Made Me Giggle

Bread Upon the Water

On Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), there is a service called Taslisch (throwing) where sins are symbolically cast away by throwing bread into the water.

Some people have asked what kind of bread they are supposed to throw into the water.
Here are suggestions:

For ordinary sins, use -- White Bread
For exotic sins -- French or Italian bread
For dark sins -- Pumpernickle
For complex sins -- Multi-grain
For truly warped sins -- Pretzels
For sins of indecision -- Waffles
For sins commited in haste -- Matzah
For substance abuse -- Poppy Seed
For commiting arson -- Toast
For being ill-tempered -- Sourdou
For silliness -- Nut bread
For not giving full value -- Short bread
For political chauvinism -- Yankee Doodles
For excessive use of irony -- Rye Bread
For continual bad jokes -- Corn Bread
For hardening our hearts -- Jelly doughnuts

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Make it a GREAT day!

Lena

www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com

Health Insurance and Counseling

Many people have questions about counseling and health insurance. Because it is a personal decision, I’d like to take a moment to provide you with some information to help you decide. Then you can make an informed decision that is right for you.

DID YOU KNOW that all health insurance companies follow the medical model? This means that insurance companies require clients to be “patients”? What this means is that the practitioner must present a formal medical diagnosis. That diagnosis then determines the nature and duration of services allowable and paid for by the insurance company. These records are permanent and may be accessed by employers, insurance companies, and others: a psychiatric diagnosis, whether accurate or not, becomes a lifelong “fact.” These records are supposed to be kept confidential, however Connections Christian Counseling has no control over what happens to the records once they are sent to the insurance company.

In addition, many of the problems that bring people into counseling do not fit neatly in to the ‘medical model’. For example, if you are having ongoing conflict in your marriage relationship, this may or may not be covered by your insurance. Yet it could be causing a great deal of turmoil, stress, and pain in your life. If it does happen to be covered-the insurance company-not you and your counselor-will determine the number and frequency of sessions. Who would you rather have deciding on the services that you get? Some managed care company representative in an office cubicle probably in another state who does not know you? Or would you prefer that you and your health care professional collaborate on your care and make these decisions together?

What if you are interested in personal growth and challenging yourself to be the best that you can be? What if you want support while you set goals and practice new skills? Or maybe you want some accountability while you work to take your business to the next level or plan a career change? These valuable coaching services are not ‘medical conditions’ and will not be covered by health insurance.

These are just some of the reasons that Connections Christian Counseling does not submit bills to insurance companies. However, some insurance companies may reimburse their members for services with Connections Christian Counseling. It varies depending on the policy exclusions and the contract between your employer and the insurance company. The client is responsible for payment at the time of service. Upon your request, I can give you the paperwork to assist you in seeking reimbursement from your insurance company. However, I cannot guarantee reimbursement because your insurance coverage is a contract primarily between your employer and the insurance company. I recommend that you read the article on my website www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com called “Paying for Therapy”-it offers 5 more points to consider so that you can make an informed decision about using health insurance to pay for counseling.

Counseling is a valuable service that has the potential to greatly improve the quality of your life and relationships. By investing in counseling services you maintain control, privacy & flexibility in your health care.


Lena Wright is the founder and President of Connections Wellness Center and a Certified Professional Coach and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. Her passion is helping women find peace and contentment so they may enjoy healthy relationships and be all that God has created them to be. She can be reached through her website at www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com