A quick giggle to start the New Year!

I hope that you had a great holiday season and are settling back into your routine. Did you make any resolutions? I don't make resolutions any longer, because I feel that they are too big and too broad and they tend to set us up for failure. I do however like to review the year and set some small goals. What are your goals? What are you working on this year? What are you looking forward to?

What better time than the start of a new year to set some goals-and perhaps to consider getting some counseling or coaching services to help you reach your goals and to hold you accountable for the changes you want to make. If you are ready to take action toward your goals, contact me today. www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com

Here's a little something that made me smile. I hope it makes you smile too. Enjoy!

Lena


Awestruck.....


In 1990 a woman entered a Haagen-Dazs in the Kansas City Plaza for an ice-cream cone. While she was ordering, another customer entered the store. She placed her order, turned and found herself face to face with Paul Newman. He was in town filming a movie. His blue eyes made her knees buckle. She finished paying and quickly walked out of the store, her heart still pounding.Gaining her composure she suddenly realized she didn't have her cone; she turned to go back in.At the door she again came face-to-face with Paul Newman who was coming out. He said to her, "Are you looking for your ice-cream cone?" Unable to utter a word she nodded yes."You put it in your purse with your change."





Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Giggle Alert

Previous Employment

I work in a personnel office with the government in Washington, DC, reviewing applications for federal employment.

The standard form includes the question, "Why did you leave your previous employment?"

One applicant, a former U.S. Congressman, responded, "The express wish of 116,000 voters."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

God Speaks!

God Speaks BillBoards

Some new billboards are getting attention in Cleveland. Some reported seeing one or two messages, but the newspaper listed all of them. Here's a list of all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards. The billboards are a simple black background with white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization is included. These are awesome...enjoy.

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God

C'mon over and bring the kids. -God

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. -God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. -God

I love you and you and you and you and... -God

Will the road you're on get you to my place? -God

Follow me. -God

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. -God

My way is the highway. -God

Need directions? -God

You think it's hot here? -God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God

Do you have any idea where you're going? -God

(And my personal favorite...)

Don't make me come down there. -God


Received from Paul Calvert.

Giggle Alert!

Lexiograms

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

11. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
12. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
14. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
15. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

16. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
17. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
19. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
20. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Received from FranCMT2.

Made Me Giggle

Bread Upon the Water

On Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), there is a service called Taslisch (throwing) where sins are symbolically cast away by throwing bread into the water.

Some people have asked what kind of bread they are supposed to throw into the water.
Here are suggestions:

For ordinary sins, use -- White Bread
For exotic sins -- French or Italian bread
For dark sins -- Pumpernickle
For complex sins -- Multi-grain
For truly warped sins -- Pretzels
For sins of indecision -- Waffles
For sins commited in haste -- Matzah
For substance abuse -- Poppy Seed
For commiting arson -- Toast
For being ill-tempered -- Sourdou
For silliness -- Nut bread
For not giving full value -- Short bread
For political chauvinism -- Yankee Doodles
For excessive use of irony -- Rye Bread
For continual bad jokes -- Corn Bread
For hardening our hearts -- Jelly doughnuts

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Make it a GREAT day!

Lena

www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com