Whereabouts Unknown

By Lena Wright

I watched saw a press conference in which an Air Force pilot was listed as ‘Whereabouts Unknown’. Major Troy Gilbert’s plane had gone down in Iraq in November 2006. This press conference took place in the immediate aftermath of the crash and ongoing investigation. It was an emotional press conference-it was clear that the pilot was loved by many and had had a significant impact on the lives of those he interacted with. The press conference was riveting because of the emotional impact of the loss on those speaking. Typically, a press conference is held with an almost robotic stoicism. This one was different-and it caught my attention.

‘Whereabouts Unknown’ is a term used by the military and is defined by TheFreeDictionary.com as:

“A transitory casualty status, applicable only to military personnel, that is used when the responsible commander suspects the member may be a casualty whose absence is involuntary, but does not feel sufficient evidence currently exists to make a definite determination of missing or deceased.”

I wonder how many people are wasting their lives in a metaphorical ‘Whereabouts Unknown’ status. You know who I am talking about. You’ve seen them and interacted with them. Maybe you’ve had the thought or feeling that ‘something is missing’ when you interacted with them. They may be lost in regret about the past or worry about the future. These folks are physically present but emotionally absent. I’m also reminded of Adam Sandler’s character in the movie “Click”. The plot focuses on workaholic Michael Newman who gets a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Complications arise when the remote starts to overrule his choices. The remote is now powered by its memory, and starts to fast-forward through crucial moments in his life, including arguments, traffic, and promotions at his job. He learns from the eccentric inventor that when he hits fast forward he operates on auto-pilot-being there but not really there-interacting, participating, living. At first this is a huge blessing-allowing the workaholic to accomplish more and spend time with his family. As the story unfolds-we begin to see the foolishness in rushing through life and the impact of the small choices we’re faced with on a daily basis.

Perhaps you're the one that is going through the motions in ‘Whereabouts Unknown’ status. Maybe you’ve let yourself slip in to autopilot mode. Functioning, existing, surviving, but not really thriving and living. What is it going to take to get you to live your life fully present and enjoying each moment that you are given? Life is God’s most precious gift to us-a gift we so often take for granted. The very fact that we wake up alive and breathing is an incredible miracle that we often don’t appreciate. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to shock us out of our dullness.

Unfortunately, Major Gilbert’s status was changed from ‘Whereabouts Unknown’ to deceased. He was laid to rest with full military honors-a patriot’s reward for paying the ultimate price to defend our freedom. What a blessing it is-for this man, and countless others to volunteer to serve each of us in this way. The sacrifices that our military and their families have made are enormous. This tragedy-for our country, for the family and friends of this pilot, husband, son and father serves as a wake up call for each of us to live life on purpose-to the full-taking advantage of every moment, every opportunity to say "I love you" and to spend time with those we love. It is a wake up call to emerge from the 'fog' that has clouded our lives and kept us stuck.

Start to pay attention to all the things and people you have to be grateful for-give thanks for those miracles both big and small. A gratitude journal or a blessing jar is a great idea to help us focus our energies in a positive direction. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or formal. At least once a day, write down (or type) three things, people or situations that you appreciate in your life. Place it in a jar or box, or record them in a journal. If you appreciate or love people in your life, tell them today, right now-while you still can. If you are grateful for situations in your life-give thanks-verbally, out loud and in writing. Cultivating an ‘attitude of gratitude’ takes time and effort and has the potential to be life changing. What you look for, you will find. So begin to look for things to be grateful for. Start today.

If you find yourself stuck-unable to emerge from the fog-then by all means, seek help. Often, the best thing we can do for ourselves is seek input and insight from an outside party. This can help us to clarify what we’re feeling, and often times to heal hurts of the past and to take action to move forward. Talk to a clergy person, your best friend, a coach, a counselor-a family member who has absolutely no agenda but your happiness. Take action to change your life; remember; life IS made up of the small stuff.


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An Arizona based Licensed Professional Counselor; Lena Wright is the founder and President of Connections Wellness Center, a gifted teacher and speaker and the author of numerous articles. Lena is also a Certified Professional Coach and a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. Her passion is helping women find peace and contentment so they may enjoy healthy relationships and be all that God has created them to be. She can be reached at http://www.connectionswellnesscenter.com/ or 623-297-4756.

© 2007 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com.
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