Balance

I believe that balance is an important element of wellness.  I like this visual because it is simple and I also believe that simplicity is an important element of wellness.  I have seen wellness wheels with upwards of 10-15 pieces of pie.  I think that over complicates matters.  These are the big three, in my opinion.  I like the visual reminder, it serves as a cue to help me "check in" with myself and see how I am doing.  Often, when I am feeling stressed out, it is because I have neglected one or more of these areas of wellness.  I encourage you to slow down and think about what you need in each of these areas and evaluate how you are doing.  Is there room for improvement?  What's one small step you could take to increase your sense of well being?

We Are The Body.......

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Recently, I was reflecting on my recent trip to Haiti during some quiet time. Actually, I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and not succeeding because too much was going on in my head.

I remember being so overwhelmed at first. The sites, the sounds, the smells, there was just so much to take in. People have asked me if it was as bad as I expected. I'm unsure how to answer that question because this was my first mission trip I didn't really know what to expect. The reality of Haiti was worse, so much worse than I expected. And, at the same time, it was also so much better than I expected. The poverty, the despair, the pain, the suffering, the need...everywhere I looked I saw someone who was in need. Real people. Real need-not just for comfort but for survivial. And at the same time, I saw people praising and worshipping God with their whole hearts. I saw people praying and reading their Bibles. I saw laughter and joy in their eyes. I saw beauty. I saw love. I saw hope.

During the first day or two, I remember having a conversation with God about my feelings of being overwhelmed and thinking about what I am doing here-feeling doubtful and inadequate. How could I, in one week make any sort of impact on the huge need in this poverty stricken place? Where people don't have enough to eat, don't have clean water to drink and where most are barely surviving. People are sick, children are dying. The need is so great-it is truly overwhelming and hard to comprehend, let alone explain. Words are inadequate.

I felt overwhelmed and like I was kidding myself into thinking that I could make a difference on this trip or change/save the world. I'd like to tell you that I had some awesome insight or that God spoke to me clearly and explained everything. But that is not what happened. As is more often the case, for me, anyway, God revealed Himself to me bit by bit. And somewhat after the fact. Maybe I'm just a slow learner.

Looking back, I recall some of the American's we met. There was the group that stayed at the guest house with us. They were working on a project to get solar (free energy) cookstoves to the women of Haiti. There is a lot of cancer in Haiti, in part because they cook over open flames and spend hours each day tending a fire. There's also concern about what the cutting down of so many trees for fuel to burn is doing to the environment and concern about food poisoning from improper cooking/handling techniques.

Then there was the lady we met at church and at the airport, who was there to work with pregnant and nursing women and newborns to teach them about breastfeeding. Apparently there is some stigma and superstition associated with breastfeeding among Haitian women. I learned that the rich women in Haiti use formula, and the poor women use flour and water, because it looks like formula, and their babies get sick and die. Ugh.

We met a family at church that were taking their adopted children home from another orphanage. We had one adoptive mom, and an adoptive big sister as part of our group-each adopting two children from Three Angels. Do you know that almost all of the 30+ children currently living at Three Angels have forever families? They are just waiting to go home, while their adoptive families wade through the paperwork and process.

There were the pastors at the church we attended. There were the young Haitian teens who came to the orphanage and led a church service, complete with praise & worship music for the children on Saturday. There was also another large group at the airport when we arrived-all wearing blue tee shirts that said something about God being the God of justice and had images of the island printed on them. There was another group of short term missionaries from the east coast that overlapped with our visit to Mother Theresa's hospital. They visited with the children there, and were on their way to another city to help with the problem of sanitizing the drinking water. There were brochures and information on child sponsorship from a couple of different organizations at the guest house.

Then there's Kaitlyn, a college aged woman who is spending her summer living at Three Angels and ministering to the children, playing with them, holding them, caring for them. She's not there because she has to be, but because she wants to be. And Sandy, the orphanage/house manager who also lives at Three Angels and keeps things moving-working with the nannies, and all the staff, organizing the supplies, entertaining the children, teaching the children and so much more.

And there are all of the Three Angels board members and volunteers in the United States doing so much for the children through the Orphanage, Three Angels Christian Academy and the Halos Medical Mission.

There were the 23 of us. A painter, a nurse, college students, high school students, postal workers, hair stylists, salesmen, business owners, a counselor and so much more. People with very different careers. People from all walks of life. People from different churches. People from different states. Very different people all united by Jesus Christ. Brought together by God to do His work. To play a part in His plan.

As I was reflecting on the trip and all of these people, God revealed several things to me. First, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. Clearly, I am inadequate for the task at hand, but God is more than enough, more than capable. (2 Corinthians 12:9; Matthew 19:26; Mark 10:27; Phillipians 4:13) And He cares-He cares deeply for all who are lost and all who suffer. (Matthew 25:40; Matthew 25:45) I have a part to play in God's adventure and I must do what I can. Jesus said if you love me, obey me.

Second, the Bible tells us that we are the body, Christ is the head (Romans 12:5; 1 Cor. 12:13; Ephesians 4:4; Colasians 2:19). We all have a part to play-and that was clearly demonstrated in the variety of missionaries I met and the variety of projects that are being worked on to improve life in Haiti. What a cool thing, to be able to see the Bible in action-a real life demonstration through a diverse group of people united by their desire to serve Christ by helping and loving others.

And lastly, God brought to mind that story about 2 friends walking along the beach that was just covered in starfish. Every so often, one friend would stop to pick up a starfish and throw it back into the ocean. The other friend was incredulous and asked why are you bothering with that, there are so many, you'll never make a difference. And the friend who was throwing the starfish said simply "It makes a difference to this one" as he tossed another one back.

So during the trip, I took action. I changed one diaper at a time. I held one (sometimes two or three) child(ren) at a time. I gave one a drink of water or one snack. I picked up one crying child at a time. I rocked one child to sleep. One at a time, one need at a time. One bit of obedience at a time. All for God's glory. Did I change the world? Probably not. But maybe, just maybe, I changed the life of a child. Maybe some day that child will change the life of another person and therefore change the world.

I want the children to know that Jesus loves them. No matter what happens that is one thing that is True and cannot be changed. (Matthew 19:14; Mark 10:14; Luke 18:16). I'm grateful to have had this opportunity. And I'm grateful that someone else obeyed and served, and shared this Good News, this Truth with me. And so now, I do my part and serve willingly, joyfully, gladly. (2 Timothy 1:8)

God willing, (Proverbs 27:1) I will return to Haiti soon to play my part. In the meantime, I will find ways to serve and play my part at home.

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The Power To Choose

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The heat is on! As the calendar turns to summer, it is easy to fall into the trap of complaining about the heat, especially here in Arizona. I wonder what would happen if we all took up a challenge to give thanks for the heat? The fact is that there is no perfect place to live and I know that I wouldn’t trade summers here for winters back east. I can still remember the bone-chilling cold and having to scrape ice off the windshields and sidewalks. I don’t miss any of that. This year, let’s make an effort to focus on the blessings of living in this place rather than focusing on the scorching heat. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 tells us:

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (emphasis added).


This is a great reminder of the CHOICE we face every day, every moment. The Truth is that our troubles (and the summer heat) won’t last forever. No matter what our circumstances or situation, it will not last forever. We get to CHOOSE what we focus on. The fact is, there will be trouble and suffering in our lives. Jesus told us this. At times, the trouble and suffering are enormous. However, the fact is also that there are a great many blessings and gifts in life to be thankful for as well. Because God gave us a brain and the ability to think, we are free to CHOOSE what we focus on. Paul wrote “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. “ What we look at and focus on is a choice!

I have learned that if I look for things to criticize, gripe and complain (i.e., whine) about, I will find them. Alternatively, if I look for blessings and gifts to be grateful for and enjoy, I will find those as well. It is a daily, conscious choice to focus on being thankful for the blessings in my life. To me, it is like changing the channel. If something I do not like comes on the television, I have the ability to change the channel or shut the TV off. It is the same with my thoughts. I must begin by paying attention to my thoughts. Often, I am guilty of rushing through life, running from one activity or task to the next, so busy, that I don’t even notice my thoughts. By focusing my attention, I can notice if there are thoughts that need to be changed. When I pay attention to my thoughts, I can then make a CHOICE to do something differently if necessary.

With summer vacation upon us, school getting out, and Bible studies taking a break, our tendency can be to let connection and fellowship take a back seat. This summer, why not make a choice to do something different to stay connected. Perhaps you can schedule a coffee date or a play date. Or maybe invite a friend to lunch or choose a book to read and discuss. Become aware of what you focus on. Talk about spiritual things-ask your friends what God is doing in their lives and how you can pray for them. Stretch out of your comfort zone and do something different. It is only when we stretch and challenge ourselves that growth can take place. The Bible says:

By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

Remember, God gave us the ability to make choices. So make a good one today. Start by being thankful for what you do have. If you woke up this morning, you have something to be grateful for!



Lena Wright is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor and a Certified Professional Coach. Her passion is helping women be all that God created them to be. She can be reached through her website at www.LenaWright.com where you can obtain a free subscription to her Healthy Communication e-Bulletin.


Got a question for the coach? Email Lena@LenaWright.com

Haiti Mission Trip

Hi all,

Just posted a new entry about my mission trip to Haiti. You can read more about it at www.LenaHaitiMissionTrip.blogspot.com

I hope you are doing well and enjoying life. If I can be of service, don't hesitate to contact me.

Make it a GREAT day!

Lena
www.ConnectionsWellnessCenter.com

How To Keep Stress At Bay This Holiday Season

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It’s that time of year again-the twelfth month of the year. When our thoughts turn to Christmases past and our calendar and to do list often become jam packed. There are cookies to bake, parties to plan and attend, gifts to buy, houses to decorate and so much more to do. Here are some tips for managing stress during December.

Plan Ahead

Take some time to think about what sort of Christmas you would like to have. Imagine that it is January and you a pleased with the way your holiday went. What will have happened? What will you have done? Where will you have gone? Who will you have spent time with? Is there anything you will not have done? Really use your imagination and picture the details of what matters to you. Taking the time to do this will help you to decide what to do and what to let go of this year. Then you can use a calendar to plan your activities like baking, shopping, social events, gift wrapping and so on.

Another area of stress that often comes up this time of year is finances. A sure fire way to add stress to your holiday is to overspend and use credit to buy gifts and other items that you can’t really afford. Plan ahead by making a list, creating a budget that is workable for your family and then stick to it. It’s important to talk about this area with your family and decide together what is workable. It's important to take time to really listen to each person’s point of view and then discuss all of your options. Perhaps you can draw names, rather than buying gifts for everyone in the family. Or maybe gifts can be just for the kids. You could do a cookie or ornament exchange. Set a price limit on the gifts that you will exchange and stick to it. Some families choose not to exchange gifts but simply to spend time together. There are many things you can do for free like drive around and look at lights, go window shopping, cook dinner together, watch classic Christmas movies together, or go caroling. The real meaning of Christmas is not about money and flashy gifts.

Be Realistic

It amazes me how often that we think and believe that because the calendar changed to December that our imperfect family will suddenly become perfect and that everything will be ideal and no one will disagree about anything. If your family is not perfect (and none of them are) don’t expect that to change this month! Relationships that are difficult or tense the rest of the year will continue to be so and perhaps even become a bit more challenging due to stress and spending more time together. Remember that you can create a warm holiday feeling by your attitude and your actions; however you cannot change other people. You must decide what is important to you and focus on doing the right thing. Other people will respond however they are going to respond and that is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is your behavior, your decisions, your actions.

It’s also important to set limits. It’s not realistic to say yes to every event that you may get invited to this month. Or to feel like you have to host the perfect party or celebration. I give you permission to say no to some activities this month. And you’re not allowed to feel guilty for saying no. First and foremost you must focus on your priorities and then go from there. Real life is full of limits and it is important to remember that in order to help keep stress at bay, especially this time of the year.

Take Care of Your Body

This is often the first thing to go by the wayside when the calendar turns to December and I think it’s a big mistake. Movement, activity and exercise are great ways to burn off stress. It’s also important to get enough rest a minimum of 8 hours per night. Our bodies refresh and rejuvenate while we sleep and when we short change ourselves in this department we make life harder than it needs to be. Some studies have shown that people who don’t get enough sleep tend to be heavier and sicker than those who do get their zzz’s.

Get moving. Take a walk. If it’s too cold where you live, you can do this at the mall, the YMCA or a local gym. Take a Tai Chi or Pilate’s class. Gentle, slow moving stretching is good for your muscles and your mood. Park further out from the store when you’re running errands or shopping and walk the extra steps. Our bodies were created to move and often we don’t move them enough. It’s about movement more than it is about exercise. Physical activity is a great stress reliever, plus it helps us to sleep better and improves our mood. So, get moving!

Eat right. This time of year this is a particularly challenging task. I’m not suggesting that you deprive yourself but rather that you are mindful of what you are putting in to your body. Be aware of how caffeine, alcohol and sugar affect you and your mood. I encourage you to do a three day experiment where you write down everything you eat and pay attention to how you feel, both physically and emotionally. You may be surprised to learn that what you put into your body not only affects your physical health but also your mental and emotional well being.

Focus on What Really Matters

Decide what is important to you. Think about what the holidays mean to you. What will make it meaningful to you? It’s important to balance our attention on the true meaning of Christmas rather than on the bright lights and shiny presents. Take some time to reflect on what the holiday means to you, your family and the world at large.

One way to focus on what really matters is to help others. There is nothing like giving or helping someone else to get our focus off of ‘what’s wrong’ with our holiday and to gain some perspective on the blessings and abundance in our lives. You can help others buy buying a gift, serving a meal or working at a homeless shelter, domestic violence safe house or child crisis nursery. You can donate food to a local food bank or buy a gift for a child through the Angel Tree program. You can also adopt a family through your church or community.

Remember that you are responsible for your behavior and actions. As an adult, you get to plan ahead and decide what type of holiday celebration you want. As you give some thought to what really matters to you, you will gain increased confidence in communicating what you want and need to others. This is an important skill for healthy relationships all year long. If you find that you are having difficulty coming up with your priorities, saying no or communicating your needs and wants, then seek support. Find an objective third party to help you sort it out. This could be a friend or co-worker, a member of the clergy or a counselor. Sometimes, all we need is someone objective to help us sort it out so that we can see the situation a bit more clearly.

Remember to maintain your sense of humor during stressful times too. Humor is a great stress reliever and there are many health benefits to laughter. Look for the humor in situations and you will find it. Life and relationships with people are full of opportunities to laugh.

Merry Christmas!



Lena Wright is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor and a Certified Professional Coach. Her passion is helping women be all that God created them to be. She can be reached through her website at http://www.lenawright.com/ where you can obtain a free subscription to her Healthy Communication e-Bulletin.